Parents have always been torn over allowing children to experience a funeral. They can never be sure of how a child might react to seeing a dead body in a casket, the atmosphere of visibly upset mourners and the extent of comforting that will be needed.
When a close family member dies it is common to consider taking a child to the funeral. Often family members welcome the child at the funeral as they are a reminder that life goes on. The innocence of the child helps those that are suffering the most to deal with their loss.
If you make the decision to take a child to a funeral there are a few things you should do to make certain that he or she will be entertained during the time you are visiting with family and friends. The last thing you want is for the child to cause a scene.
Consider taking small toys, colors and coloring books along for the child or children. The idea is to have things that can occupy them for a period of time while you are visiting with family and friends. If the child is older, you could also bring hand held video games, make certain they know that the volume has to be turned down on the game.
Be sure to set the stage prior to the funeral so that the child will not be shocked by what they will see at the funeral by talking it through with them. Also let them know how they are expected to behave. As much as family and friends will enjoy seeing the children you don’t want them to cause a scene in the middle of the service.
If you are uncertain to how the family will feel regarding having children at the funeral, you can always bring it up to them, that is if you are close with them. Many families have older teens in the family that are often available to help to watch the small children and to entertain them.
It is also a good idea to bring snacks that are not messy, as well as juice boxes. You should bring a clothing change if necessary. This can prevent any extreme behavior such as tantrums. You may need to go outside and walk around with your child to prevent a meltdown.
If you are well-prepared for any circumstances and ensure that the child understands as best they can what is going to take place, attending a funeral with children can be a relatively stress-free experience for everyone involved.