Posts Tagged ‘relationship advice’

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How To Get Ex Back Without Begging

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
by Johnnie S Laney

When we lose our love or get dumped by our ex, it is very natural to miss them terribly. And because we miss them so badly, we can do some dumb things. One common thing many lovers do wrong is to beg and plead for a second chance.

Everyone likes a little begging, they like to feel really wanted and needed. But just a little. Why begging doesn’t work is because it doesn’t change the bad feelings they have about you. Your ex split up with you because their positive feelings for you have been replaced by negative ones.

Begging doesnt do anything to change the negative feelings that have built up in their heart. And, it can make you seem pathetic and desperate not in a good way.

What you should do instead of begging is to have a plan that won’t make you look weak and pitiable. Your plan needs to have part that helps your ex to release and let go of the bad feelings they have about you or what you did that are keeping you apart.

One way, depending on why the relationship ended, is to do a Restore Love reconnect strategy. Here you will call them up and follow several specific steps that will help them to release the negative feelings they have about you.

A good first step is admit to whatever you did wrong (if you didn’t do anything wrong, you need a different plan). Don’t make poor excuses or try to justify your bad behavior by saying things like “you were cold to me.”

Then give them a chance to vent. To get those bad feelings they have off their chest. Ask them how they are feeling about what happened, then shut up and listen. Letting them talk is what helps them to release their bad feelings.

There is a lot more to this strategy, but it will usually be a lot more powerful than begging and pleading with them to take you back. You can take a free course on how to get your ex back in hours.

About the Author:
You can learn more about the Proven Reconnect Methods to get your ex back in a free course about Get Your Ex Back In Hours. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship intelligence courses and you can get the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Knew here at Fixing Relationship Problems.

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Relationship Advice – 3 Keys To Intimacy

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
by Johnnie S Laney

Studies have been done that show that over time in relationships intimacy diminishes. The studies looked at several factors like frequency of touch, eye contact, verbal connection, and other factors. And across the board in most relationships and marriages intimacy factors decrease over time.

This means that the longer you are in a relationship, the less intimacy you are likely to experience as a couple. Over a long period of time, you can end up feeling more like roommates.

Diminishing intimacy in your relationship does not have to be your fate. You can actually take steps to increase the level of intimacy you experience with your lover over time. Here are a few things you can do beginning today to have more intimacy:

Step One: Engage in more small, connective talk. It may surprise you, but small talk that connects has been demonstrated to be a big deal in creating more intimacy. The studies found that the more small talk, the less big blow out fights partners have. Further, they show that lovers report more satisfaction in their marriages where they had more small connective talk about little things and observations during their day.

Key Two: Physical factors. Touching your partner, hugging them, looking them in the eye makes a difference in the reported experience of intimacy between partners. Over time, all these physical indicators of intimacy occur less often. So try these easy things: look your partner in the eye when you talk. Try to have six nonsexual hugs or touches each day. These things make a difference in the closeness couples feel and report.

Intimacy Factor Three: Gratitude and appreciation. The more you each take some time to appreciate what you’ve got, the more intimacy you will experience and feel. It’s normal to think of what’s missing or what’s wrong. Finding three things a day you appreciate about your life and your mate helps you to express more affection, which leads to more feelings of intimacy.

There are lots of other factors that impact the experience of intimacy in marriage. But these three things are simple and you can practice them several times each day to actually improve your experience of intimacy with your mate.

Additionally, there is a lot more relationship intelligence like this that is easy to learn that will add to the quality of your love life. Developing intimate relationship skills now can help you for years into the future.

About the Author:
You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights Your Mamma Never Taught You at Help With Relationships . Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Love Relationship Help Quotes.

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Opting Out of an Abusive Relationship

Monday, April 27th, 2009
by Liz Johnson

Victims of physical abuse surprisingly find it hard to get out of an abusive relationship. An unhealthy relationship often blinds the victims of their real predicament and keeps them stuck until outside help arrives. It usually takes a family member or a friend to let victims realize the nightmare they are in.

An abuser may develop the attitude that the abuse that they are exposed to is normal, or even deserved, but it is not. If you have recently realized that you are in a relationship that is not healthy, you may be considering leaving. Here, I will provide information on leaving an abusive relationship.

Opting out of an abusive and unhealthy relationship is not a one-time deal. Prepare to brave through a number of phases before you make your way out. The first phase involves your rationalization of your partners behavior.

You try to justify your partners behavior towards you with these explanations: perhaps your partner is just bothered by a lot of problems; perhaps you really are to blame. What you need to do is wake up. You are each responsible for your own actions. Abuse is never your choice. Stop taking the blame.

The next phase that you experience when you are considering leaving an abusive relationship is one in which you feel that you will be unable to live without your partner. This is extremely common. It is quite likely that as you have progressed through the relationship that the person who has abused you has made you dependent on them for many things.

This is a direct result of the level of control that the abuser has had over you. Abusive individuals have a knack for breaking down the emotional state of the person that they are with and then rebuilding them in the way that is most convenient to their miscalculated and irrational needs. You must realize that you are capable of moving on, and living your life without the burden of abuse and unhappiness.

Undoubtedly, you will be weighing a lot of factors when you want to escape an abusive relationship. Let one of the fundamental factors be your safety. Because your abusive partner is rarely able to control temper or aggressive behavior, expect small fights to intensify to brawls.

You could become seriously injured, and you could even be killed as a result of physical abuse. If you experience emotional or psychological abuse, you could end up suffering from depression. Believe it or not, this could actually have an impact on your physical health as well. You must consider yourself, your future, and your health.

Once you decide to walk away from an abusive relationship, it is important to understand that the abuser may not like this at all. They could even attempt to hurt you while you are making the attempt. It is important to ensure that you have a plan that includes additional people that can help you through the experience.

It is also important that you do not reveal the details of your new location when leaving. If you consider the points listed here, walking away from an abusive relationship will prove to be the best choice that you will ever make.

About the Author:
Liz Johnson is a recognized expert on unhealthy relationships. If you have found this article useful please visit her web site for more tips, information and practical advice on Gettiing out of an Abusive relationship Grab a totally unique version of this article from the Uber Article Directory

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Get Ex Back With A Power Apology

Friday, April 24th, 2009
by Johnnie S Laney

Most people have never been trained on how to apologize. We know to say Im sorry, but not much more than that. When your relationship has ended and you want your ex back, just saying Im sorry will probably not work that well.

There are, however, other levels of apologizing. There are much more impactful ways of saying Im sorry. When your relationship has ended because you did something wrong and your ex kicked you out, you will likely need to make a power apology.

A power apology has as many as 7 or eight steps to it. A power apology is designed to get your ex from anger or hurt to acceptance and forgiveness in just hours or sometimes even minutes. Power apologies should be taught in school, they are so useful in keeping relationships from ending. Here are the steps to a Power Apology:

The first thing is to fess up to what you did. Own up to it. Admit it if you wronged your mate (there is a different process if your mate wronged you). This is important because rather than excuses and explanations I was drunk, it didnt mean anything! you let your ex know that you understand that you did them wrong.

The second step is to mirror their feelings. This is powerful relationship intelligence. How do you mirror their feelings? You say something like I know what I did hurt you, and made you feel betrayed, and sad. You tell your ex how what you did made them feel. Mirroring their emotional state is potent emotional intelligence. Your ex will start to feel really heard.

Now you are ready for the third step, which is to let them get things off their chest. Let them vent. You don’t want to argue or explain yourself, you just let them talk about how what you did made them feel. The more they vent, the better.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness. By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong. You have been an adult and taken responsibility. At some level they will respect this. Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them. And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Now that you have done these things first, you can now say I’m sorry. Rather than rush in with I’m sorry, if you wait til after you’ve followed the three prior steps your apology will be much more likely to be accepted.

About the Author:
Part 2 of this article goes into the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be found here at How To Get Your Ex Back Part 2. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get a free course on Making Up With Your Ex In Hours here.

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Relationship Advice On Building More Intimacy

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
by Johnnie S Laney

Intimacy is that feeling of deep, close connection with another that we all crave. It is a basic hardwired need of human beings. Our intimacy needs make us want to get into a relationship and get married. However, once we are a couple, we often find that intimacy is hard to keep or maintain.

So intimacy often becomes something that seems like it comes and goes, or even that it slowly slips away as we become more familiar with and to our mate. Often times, our need for intimacy can even cause divorce or a break up, because if we stop getting in our primary relationship we just have to look elsewhere for it.

We all have intimacy needs. These are hardwired into our systems. Men and women have different approaches to getting their intimacy needs met. You’ve heard the saying “Women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex.” This saying points to an underlying theme about sex in relationships.

Men equate intimacy with sex. One of the primary ways men go about getting their intimacy needs met is through sex. When they feel the need to be close, they want sex. After climax, they often retreat behind their walls until the intimacy need builds up and they want sex again.

On the other hand, women can feel intimate in a larger number of ways. Sex is great, and they can feel intimate just through talking and being around other people. It isn’t just physical for women most of the time.

Intimacy is not something that once attained, you have it forever. In a long term relationship, you need to keep working on it. Sex is a powerful way to experience it, but in relationships you can have sex and not feel particularly close or intimate. Sex can’t be the only method for intimacy in a relationship.

Verbal communication can also be a powerful way to experience intimacy, but it isn’t in the talking. We all know you can talk with someone and feel no intimacy whatsoever. Intimacy in communication comes from feeling heard and understood by your lover, accepted and not judged, among other things.

You can have more intimacy by practicing intimate communication. This means to share yourself and listen from your heart, with interest in what your mate has to say and without judging them. Making them feel heard and understood rather than taken for granted is a powerful way to promote more intimacy on a daily basis.

About the Author:
You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Marriage Insights You Never Learned In School at How To Have The Marriage You Want. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Marriage Advice Help Secrets.

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Winning An Ex Back

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
by Lilleana Haley

Winning back an ex has become such a huge topic in today’s society. We all know that the effects of the economy are going to play a huge part on couples. Most likely if you are reading this article then you may be facing a very difficult time in your life.

With all the jam packed information on the internet about “winning an ex back” how do you know which one is going to help your relationship trouble? People everywhere seem to be hurting in their relationships and even though it may feel as you are the only one; the truth is that you are not.

Whenever we put ourselves on the line and open ourselves up for a relationship then we take a risk at getting hurt by our lovers. If you are in this situation right now; and want to know how to begin winning an ex back; then here are some great tips that you can begin using right now.

1. Courage: First of all it takes courage to be going through something like this; it will take everything that you have to remain strong and avoid seeming desperate. When someone acts desperate for something then the chances of them getting their ex back will lessen.

Yes I know that the information that you are seeking is to get back with your ex; however both of you need some time apart. This will show them that you can be alone and they may come running back to you without any effort on your part.

2. Avoid Begging: If you are considering begging your boyfriend or girlfriend to come back; avoid doing this. No one wants to be bothered like this and if you use this method then you will find yourself alone for a longer period than you wanted.

Always remember that you deserve the best and if your ex does not see it like that and does not give you the time of day for a second chance then it is time to find someone who can see the great person that you are.

3. Honest: Be honest with yourself and find out if you really do want to save the relationship or are you just lonely? Thousands of people who find themselves going through a breakup usually want to get back together because they do not feel that they can get another person.

Regardless of why you are trying to win back an ex; or even if you just want to make the relationship stronger; visit our site below. It is filled with all kinds of information that will help both of you grow closer.

About the Author:
Get The Secrets To Winning An Ex Back And Saving A Relationship!

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How To Get Your Girlfriend Back Before She Moves On

Sunday, April 19th, 2009
by Nikki Frost

A break up can be a very emotional time when learning how to get your girlfriend back. Hurtful things may have been said to one another, so it is vital that you know what to do, or you could push her further away.

So in learning how to get your ex girlfriend back, take these 5 steps.

1: Identify the cause of the breakup:

She did not break up with you for no reason. So the first thing you should do is learn what really caused her to leave. And then you need to see if the real issue or problem could have been avoided, and what changes you can make.

2: Did you cause the problem?

If the relationship broke down because of you did or did not do something, then your next step in figuring out how to get your girlfriend back is to say you are sorry. Explain to that you understand you were wrong to have hurt her, and that you are really sorry that it ended the relationship.

3: Get Out Of The House

Although you are wanting to get girlfriend back, it does not give you an excuse to hide at home and forget about everyone else. It will do you some good to hang out with your friends and have some fun. Even going on a friendly date could benefit you and make your ex a little jealous. But if you do, keep it casual.

4: Let her see that you are doing fine:

In figuring out how to get your girlfriend back, it is important to let her see that you are staying strong and coping with losing her. While it is good for her to see that you are moving on, she also needs to see that you still care about her. So stat cool, calm and collected when you see her, but give her the idea that you still like her.

5: Reclaim Her Trust

Your last step before getting your girlfriend back is to get back her trust and respect for you. So to get closer to her. you need to be friendly and caring. Once she starts to let her guard down, ask her again why she ended the relationship. There are two ways she will respond: Either she will confirm the her decision to leave you, in which case you should back off a bit; or she will admit that she wants you back, giving you the chance to get closer to her, and explain how you feel.

These are just the beginning steps in learning how to get your girlfriend back. These are not my techniques, but ideas I got from a guide that has helped thousands of guys get girlfriend back. Most of the time, when the step-by-step plan is followed through properly it will not only bring your girlfriend back into your life, but it will bring her closer to you than ever before.

About the Author:
For a tried and tested, step-by-step plan on How To Get Your Girlfriend Back with confidence, Nikki Frost recommends the Magic Of Making Up, solid advice that has helped save over 6784 relationships to date.

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Brush Up On Your Dating Skills – 4 First Date Tips

Sunday, April 12th, 2009
by Marc Sandford

For a lot of singles, first dates are times of great stress. When a person hasn’t been dating for a long time it is particularly stressful.

Not knowing what to talk about with a near stranger you know hardly anything about can fill you with apprehension. Concerns about a disastrous date can also be a source of tension.

This stress is best coped with by knowing what’s to be expected on a first date. Here are some first date pointers:

1.) Seeing a movie is a poor choice. Why is that? Because it’s extremely hard to get to know someone when you’re in a dark room where you can’t have a conversation.

Still another reason is that it’s dull and mundane. It is a cliche date, it’s what you do when there’s nothing better to do.

Dates that are based on some activity can be great fun. Suggestions include skating, wine tasting, miniature golf, or going to a baseball game. A suggestion: It really helps if you know about what your date is interested in.

Eating out at a nice place is a good idea when you’ve finished your activity. Don’t go to a super expensive or fancy restaurant as this makes it seem as if you’re trying very hard to buy or impress her.

2.) It never hurts to do some thinking in advance about a general plan for your conversation. Many dates have flopped because of excessive awkward silences. Start the date with small talk about something current or of interest in the immediate environment.

You can change the conversation over to getting to know one another after she’s relaxed. Learn about the points that you have in common by asking open ended questions and listening very carefully.

Giving and taking is the essence of good conversation. Ask too many questions and the date becomes an interview. Talk to much about yourself and the date is all about you.

3.) Clean and attractive clothing are important. Your date may become a disaster zone if she gets a very bad first impression. The type of clothing you wear is decided by where you go and what you do on your date.

Women have this thing about shoes, so leave the old shoddy shoes at home.

4.) Bear with me on this obvious suggestion but there are always some who must be told: personal hygiene is essential. A shower, shave, mouthwash, deodorant, and clean teeth are the basics. Don’t let a case of nerves or time pressure make you omit this.

Too much nervousness on a first date is not good because you will be seen as not having any confidence. A relaxed state will make your date feel more comfortable and help you to establish a connection with her. Don’t put yourself under pressure by worrying about how the date will turn out. You are going on a date with an interesting person, so relax and have a good time.

About the Author:
Attraction is easily learned. Learn how to attract women now and see what’s so great about this Ebook – read Guy Gets Girl review.

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Love Advice Feel 5 Times The Love

Friday, April 10th, 2009
by Johnnie S Laney

We get into relationships for the love, right? Love is what we want to feel. The more we experience, the more intimacy and more close the relationship seems to us.

Most of us, after we’ve been in a relationship for a little while, feel we can’t control how much love we experience or provide for our mate. At first we felt a lot, but over time it starts to change.

Once we are living together after the initial courting phase, sometimes we feel loved and sometimes we feel distant or just okay or whatever.

The Love Multiplier is a way for making each other feel really loved every day. It is very simple and places a lot of power in your hands to increase the love you experience. Once you learn this technology you can increase the love you experience in your relationship fivefold!

The Love Multiplier is deceptively simple. The first thing you need to do is to discover your personal structure for feeling loved. Yes, you have a “structure” for feeling loved by your partner. There is some thing or combination of things that he/she can do that make you feel really loved. You know what it is though you may not have thought about it in this way before.

How this works is that some things make you feel loved and some don’t. If a fly buzzes around your ear, you don’t feel love. When your mate whispers huskily into your ear you may feel strongly loved. The clue is that some things work to make you feel loved and others have no affect on you.

Is this a revelation or what??

Emotions don’t just occur randomly. Feelings get triggered often by various things. Love is exactly the same. Once we figure out which things our mate does that make us feel loved, we can start to feel it much more regularly.

Each of us has a personal or idiosyncratic way that we feel love. Some of us feel more loved with visual displays like when our mate wears lingerie or brings us pretty flowers. Others of us feel loved in an auditory way, with the right music or the right tone in a lovers voice. To feel more love, you just need to figure out what things make you feel loved, and what things you do that make your mate feel loved, and start doing those things on purpose.

There is a lot more to figuring out our love buttons, but just this can help you to start bringing more love into your relationship on purpose every day.

About the Author:
You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Marriage Insights You Never Learned In School at How To Have The Marriage You Want. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Marriage Advice Help Secrets.

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Ex girlfriend back quick. Read how to do it.

Friday, April 3rd, 2009
by Anna Baumgartner

If you are separated or even divorced with your beloved woman, it doesnt mean that you wont be able ever to get her back.

Only you have to understand by yourself if you really want it.

I will tell you some reasons, why women lose interest towards to their partner. It starts from small things: lack of compliments about her appearance, lack of sexual life together, you didnt spend much time together because of work, you started talking less and less to each other.. So, I guess its enough, that your love started looking, perhaps, to another man, or she just became colder, because you are not that warm with her, or she is in permanent contact with her best friend or mother, and that was getting on your nerves.

I dont want to tell you, that all is your fault. If you are not together now, that means that you both did something wrong. But if you are reading this article that means, that you are the partner, who is interested, how to win love back.

Even if she doesnt try to do it together with you, even if she is with another man, you can try getting your ex back. It is possible!

There are some keys.

First, start from yourself. When you look into the mirror ” do you like yourself? May be, its really time to start with some little sport exercises?

If you are drinking ” stop it. It doesnt change something, but it makes things only worse.

When you feel, that you are in a good shape and moral condition ” call your ex, or leave the message on the answering machine, or send an SMS with invitation for a short lunch. For the first time lunch (1 hour maximum) is the best solution. Dinner will be another time, dont worry.

Lunch usually works. But if she denies your invitation, stay polite, just say thank you and wish her a good day! Try once again in a week.

For lunch you have to look very good. Go and refresh your wardrobe.

During this lunch you dont say how much you miss her, and not at all how much you still love her. Keep it like a talk between good friends. Ask her about her daily life, tell her about yours. And very important: dont forget to tell her how good she looks today!

If she starts blaming you, agree with anything, dont get hot, dont reply. Keep calm.

If lunch was fine, dont immediately make some plans for the future. Tell your ex girlfriend, that it was a pleasure to see her.

Send your ex later flowers with thanks for the lunch. Flowers are the best key to any woman. And wait a week. It can happen that your ex will call you by herself. So, you are on the right road.

Remember, if there were once true feeling between two hearts, it is always possible to restore them.

About the Author:
Best tips has Magic Of Making Up You can always visit a great relationship magazine online www.saveloverelationship.com Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service

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